The Never-Ending Pain of Losing a Friend to Suicide

There is something profoundly wrong when I can say that not only I, but also my daughter and even my young granddaughter, have all lost friends to suicide. The world has changed—and continues to change—faster than many of us can keep up with. And yet, one truth remains: the pain of losing someone this way never truly leaves.

September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and for me, it is a deeply personal reminder. My heart still aches for my dear friend whose life ended far too soon. I remember the helplessness, the hopelessness, and the questions that haunted me. Why didn’t he reach out to me? Why didn’t he know I would do anything to help? With time, I’ve come to understand that suicide is not about those left behind. Even if I could have intervened in a single moment, there was always another moment of pain ahead for him.

I miss him every day. I miss the chance to grow old together, to laugh about the “good ole days,” to simply have him here. And yet, I am deeply grateful for the years we did share. Looking back, the signs were there. The weight on his shoulders was unbearably heavy, though I believed he was stronger than life itself. What I did not understand then is that even the strongest among us can be broken by life’s challenges.

That is why I am writing these words now. If there is someone in your life you are concerned about—do something. Don’t assume they are okay. Reach out. Ask. Listen. Sit with them in their pain. Encourage them to seek support. Pray with them if faith is part of your journey. And remember, you don’t have to carry the burden alone—pastors, counselors, therapists, and doctors are there to help.

Young people especially need us. They are navigating pressures we can hardly imagine—social media, bullying, identity struggles, and the weight of a world that often feels unkind. Please, pay attention. Ask questions. Be present. Most importantly, know that help is available. If you or someone you love is struggling with thoughts of suicide, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 in the United States. You can also visit 988lifeline.org for resources and support.
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We cannot undo the pain of loss, but we can honor those we’ve lost by choosing to see, to act, and to love more boldly. Someone you know might be silently carrying a burden too heavy to bear alone. Your call, your presence, your care could make all the difference.