 Emotional regulation—the ability to understand, express, and manage emotions in healthy ways—isn’t something we’re born knowing. It’s a learned skill, and often, in African American families, it’s one we’re not taught explicitly. Many of us were raised with “what happens in this house, stays in this house,” or told to “suck it up” instead of processing pain. But the truth is, teaching emotional regulation at every age is one of the most powerful tools we can offer ourselves, our siblings, our children, and our communities.
For toddlers, it looks like helping them name their feelings. “You’re mad because your toy broke.” Language gives children power. For teens, it’s about helping them feel safe enough to express themselves without judgment—creating space where they can feel seen, even when they’re misunderstood. And for adults? It means unlearning old habits and developing new ones: pausing before reacting, setting boundaries, journaling, meditating, praying, going to therapy, or simply taking a walk to reset. As college students and young adults, we’re in a unique position. We are often healing from how we were raised while simultaneously learning how to do better—for ourselves and the generations to come. Emotional regulation isn’t just about keeping your cool. It’s about learning how to feel and function without shame or suppression. It’s about being able to disagree without disrespect. It's how we protect our peace and stay grounded in a world that can feel heavy. In the words of Audre Lorde, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation.” Teaching emotional regulation at every age begins with us choosing to show up differently—soft when the world expects us to be hard, and strong in ways that don’t require us to suffer in silence. Healing is a family affair—and it starts with awareness.
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 In today’s fast-paced world, finding balance between work, worship, and family can feel like an ongoing juggling act—especially in African American households where we often wear many hats. We are caretakers, breadwinners, community leaders, and culture bearers. And while we take pride in showing up for others, we can sometimes lose sight of ourselves—and of God—in the process.
The tension is real: how do you grind to secure the bag, stay rooted in your faith, and remain present with your family—without burning out? The answer isn’t perfection—it’s alignment. Balancing these areas starts with acknowledging that each plays a vital role in our overall well-being. Work provides stability and resources, but it shouldn’t consume us. Worship connects us to purpose, peace, and power. And family? That’s where love is lived out, lessons are passed down, and legacy is built. Set rhythms, not rigid routines. Maybe that looks like morning prayer before checking emails, setting aside one evening a week for uninterrupted family dinner, or honoring the Sabbath in whatever way restores your soul. When we begin to prioritize presence over performance, we allow space for God to lead the day—not our to-do list. Technology can help—but it can also hurt. Use it wisely. Block off time on your calendar for what matters most. Say “no” to what drains you so you can say “yes” to what fills you. And remember: balance doesn’t mean everything gets equal time—it means everything gets its proper attention. Some seasons may require more focus on career. Others, more care for family. But through it all, worship grounds us. It reminds us of who we are and where our strength comes from. At the heart of it, balance is about stewardship—of your energy, your time, and your relationships. You deserve a life that honors all of who you are. And with intention, prayer, and boundaries, that life is absolutely within reach. Ananda Lewis (March 21, 1973 – June 11, 2025) was more than a gifted MTV VJ and talk‑show host—she was a fearless advocate whose journey with breast cancer transformed her into a fierce soldier for prevention and self‑care.
Lewis rose to national prominence hosting BET’s Teen Summit and later MTV’s Total Request Live, earning the title of the “hip‑hop generation’s reigning It Girl” by the New York Times. After launching The Ananda Lewis Show in 2001, she continued her career as a correspondent and even pursued carpentry—defying expectations at every turn. In October 2020, Lewis publicly disclosed her Stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis, sharing a moment of vulnerability that became a catalyst for change: “This is tough for me, but if just ONE woman decides to get her mammogram after watching this, what I’m going through will be worth it.” She courageously admitted delaying mammograms out of fear, and urged Black women especially to prioritize early detection. In her final months, she released a heartfelt video message: “Prevention IS the cure … If you’re in a healthy body, you’re holding a winning lotto ticket. PLEASE learn how to avoid cancer.” Her battle became one for education and empowerment—an unflinching testament to a woman who lived authentically, embraced her truths, and embraced her mortality with grace. Lewis passed away on June 11, 2025, at age 52, in Los Angeles, “free, and in His heavenly arms,” her sister Lakshmi announced. She leaves behind her son Langston and a legacy rooted in honesty, resilience, and advocacy that continues to awaken each of us to our power in prevention.  In the African American experience, preserving family history is not simply sentimental—it is revolutionary. For centuries, our ancestors were denied the right to read, write, or record their own narratives. Our stories were often fragmented by slavery, migration, systemic erasure, and economic hardship. Yet, through oral tradition, heirlooms, family Bibles, and photo albums, we’ve passed down pieces of ourselves—resilient, sacred, and rich with meaning. Preserving family history is how we reclaim our place in the broader tapestry of American life. It connects generations, affirms identity, and empowers us to understand the triumphs and trials that shaped us. Whether it’s a grandparent’s migration story during the Great Migration, an aunt’s role in the Civil Rights Movement, or the recipe passed down over Sunday dinners, each detail is a thread in a much larger quilt of Black endurance and excellence. In today’s digital age, we have the tools to document our legacy more intentionally. Record interviews with elders, digitize photographs, trace your lineage through DNA testing or public records, and write down the stories that deserve to live beyond memory. Our history is not just what we learn in textbooks—it’s what we carry in our hearts and homes. As college-educated African Americans, we have the privilege and responsibility to safeguard our stories for future generations. Because when we know where we come from, we move through the world differently—with purpose, with pride, and with a deeper sense of belonging.   Summer is more than just a season—it’s an opportunity to reconnect, recharge, and create meaningful memories with the people who matter most. For Black families, it can also be a sacred time to pour into joy, legacy, and love in ways that affirm both culture and connection. Here are a few intentional tips for crafting an engaging, joy-filled summer:
1. Make Time for Unplugged Moments Designate tech-free evenings where the whole family can connect over board games, storytelling, music, or outdoor activities. Let laughter replace screen time. 2. Explore Local Culture Take advantage of local museums, heritage festivals, Black-owned pop-up markets, and cultural events. It's a chance to educate and inspire the next generation while supporting your community. 3. Plan Affordable Adventures From beach days to hiking trails, picnics to backyard movie nights, meaningful memories don’t require big budgets—just creativity and presence. 4. Create a Family Summer Bucket List Have each family member contribute ideas—whether it's trying a new recipe, taking a road trip, or starting a garden. Let everyone’s voice be heard. 5. Prioritize Rest & Wellness Amid the fun, carve out time for rest. Teach your children that restoration is just as important as productivity. Self-care can look like morning walks, deep conversations, or even family yoga. Summer is a beautiful backdrop for joy, resilience, and legacy-building. So be intentional, be present, and let this season be a celebration of Black love, laughter, and togetherness. |
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